I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize