I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
When did angry sex become our thing?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Randomize
