i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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