thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
