The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
