I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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