Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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