After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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