It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize