I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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