It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
you will always have a special place in my vag
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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