Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
