? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Randomize
