Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
