I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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