we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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