he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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