its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
