Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
