Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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