these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize