woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
