We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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