there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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