The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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