literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
