She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize