I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
