Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
