Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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