So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
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I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
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Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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