There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
