Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
