Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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