About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
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