Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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