i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
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Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
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I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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