It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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