I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
