I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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