Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
She's the barista slut.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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