Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
