it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
