I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
