This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
even my farts smell like vagina
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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