i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
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but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
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I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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