He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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