Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
