i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
he thought i was a dude.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
