you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
