Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
