get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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