proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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