I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
only you would photoshop your dick
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
