At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
